“Well, I tried” is probably one of my least favourite comments to hear when it’s regarding the progress of a relationship or the supposed happiness of the other person. In fact, it’s a phrase that I’ve heard far too frequently from men with whom I’ve been in romantic entanglements, and it’s definitely a phrase that indicates they’ve actually not tried because they actively refused to acknowledge the needs of the other person (in this case, me).

I cannot count the number of times my most recent (now-ex) partner stated “I tried to make you happy” but seemed to overlook a […] Continue Reading…

I once had a discussion with my current partner which, for me, ended with “You’re lucky that you’ll never have such a difficult and complicated relationship with sex.” That conversation and others like it frequently weigh on my mind, especially when I hear men – and I’m going to be using this phrase to refer to cis, straight men – try to pull the “If your girlfriend/wife isn’t putting out, they’re responsible for the downfall of your relationship.” In all likelihood, while both parties are often at fault for the downfall of the relationship, the lack of empathy for […] Continue Reading…

“You need to act like you’re part of a couple rather than a single individual.”
This statement is something I’ve heard repeatedly from men I’ve dated, and I still can’t understand it. Every single time I’ve heard it, I’ve asked how I could better do that; I’ve asked what it is that I do that makes me seem as if I’m not trying to be a part of this ‘couple’, and I never get an actual response. I don’t get examples of times I’ve shown that I wasn’t trying to be part of that ‘couple’; I just get “I don’t […] Continue Reading…

With my (current) partner’s children running around, it’s been difficult to write anything. Between the noise of absurd fights over nothing (as an only child, I honestly don’t think I’ll ever understand sibling fights over trivial nonsense) and just feeling generally uncomfortable because of a severe lack of time alone, I pretty much gave up writing anything; I couldn’t hear myself think most days. So I’m going to do a quick round-up of some of the books I’ve read. It might take a while!

The Vintner’s Luck by Elizabeth Knox

The Vintner’s Luck by Elizabeth Knox
Knox’s novel […] Continue Reading…

Options for a new game.

In hopes of being a so-called “better influence” on my (current) partner’s video game-playing son, I decided to spend a lot of time playing Banished. This was largely because it was something that his father approved of, as it “required strategic planning” in order to achieve whatever goal you decided upon (unless, of course, it was to decimate your villages – that was fairly easy to do within the first few seconds by total accident). I can’t really remember how long I’ve had this game, but I recently realised that it […] Continue Reading…

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