I have a small confession to make. Not a big one. It’s just a tiny one that shouldn’t have much of a bearing on how you view me. I hope.
I have this habit of occasionally being lazy about one aspect of my personal appearance. It’s something not many people would really notice, even when I wear something that allows someone to notice it. That is, unless you’re one of the weirdos who stares at someone’s feet while walking by or talking to them. That’s right, I’m talking about my toenails.
I love wandering about in flip flops (and despite having lived in Australia for a year, I refuse to call them thongs – thongs go up your ass in my world, not between your toes), and I will wear them regardless of the weather. Years ago, when I was living in Kentucky, I wore them during one of the harshest winters they’d seen. People thought I was crazy. In hindsight, they were probably right to judge me as being out of my mind, but it was much easier than wearing the same shoes Frosty the Snowman would’ve worn and watching them melt as I stepped indoors. And then froze again when I walked outside and watching the whole process happen repeatedly as I suddenly suffer from frostbite.
Despite my love for the revealing and lazy shoe, I’ve always been horrible about maintaining the colour on my toes. When I get sick of it, I just let it go and hope that it chips faster because I hate the way that polish remover smells; I hate buffing my toes until it comes off. I mean, it’s just my feet, and I can’t really put that much effort into them in terms of looks. Sometimes I can amaze you with my attention to Toe Details, but I typically won’t.
So today, as I was walking to the grocery store, it was a bit fun to watch which people paid attention. This obviously wasn’t a scientifically run experiment, and it’s clear that there are a lot of people who make every attempt to avoid eye contact because of some random reason ranging from cultural background to being a total douchecanoe. The difference is subtle: Facial expressions.
Here are a few things I noticed:
- Men rarely care. Almost none of the guys who did make eye contact with me looked at my feet, and this completely makes sense.
- Women are more likely to look at your feet for some reason. The only explanation I have for this is the gender stereotype of Shoe Addiction.
- The facial expressions that the people who did look gave me were absolutely hilarious. They’re somewhere between absolute horror, severe confusion and pure sadness.
I think I may add “perform random and pointless social experiments” to my list of things to do in 2013. I’m pretty sure that I got more entertainment by noticing this than the people who were too busy staring at my feet to notice anything else about me.
Oh, and speaking of that, I’ve started my List of Unintentional Joy. I’ll eventually add more, but it is (minor) progress toward one of my goals.